Thanks A Lot, GRANDMA.

Playmobil Pirate  


My mom is a special breed of grandma.  A special breed of woman, really.  

She brought Madeline a Playmobil pirate set when she came to visit last week (because those little guys are Madeline's absolute favorite toys), and the following EDUCATIONAL MOMENT ensued.

Madeline:  What's this?

Grandma:  That's a cannon.

Madeline:  What's a cannon?

Grandma:  Um...  (Mom looks to me for help.)

Me:  It's a weapon.

(Whispers to mom, "Well, that' a new concept.")

It shoots a big heavy ball that blasts into the sides of other ships to sink them.

Madeline:  And what's this?

Me:  That's a pistol.

Madeline:  What's a pistol?

Me: A different kind of weapon.

Madeline:  Does it sink ships too?

Grandma, in a misguided attempt to change the subject: OH LOOK!!!  This guy has a peg-leg!

Madeline:  What's a peg-leg?

Grandma: His leg is made of wood.

Madeline:  Why?

Grandma:  Umm...because it got cut off.

Madeline:  Oh.

(long, thoughtful pause...)

And what's this?

Grandma:  Uh, that's a skull.


I should not be surprised.  My mom once accidentally taught some neighborhood children the term "two-fisted drinker" in an attempt to be extra-supportive of their lemonade stand.

Eh, she's Irish.