Every time things pipe down around here, it’s because there is something consuming going on that I’m not ready to share with the internet yet. In this space, I share my thoughts and observations about the world. It follows, then, that when my world is permeated by a thing I can’t share, there is radio silence.
When I have a baby, that baby gets my thoughts, observations, and my world.
When I write a book, that book gets my thoughts, observations, and my world.
And the events of the last year have gotten all of my thoughts - all of my world.
In 2013, I got, as our dear sister Glennon Melton calls it, ‘The News.’ She calls it “The News no spouse ever thinks they are going to get, even though so many of us do.” It was Black Friday, aptly named.
During the following year in therapy I received more News. Then more News. Then more News. Then more News.
It became clear to me that the things that needed to take place in order to reconcile our marriage were not going to happen. So Dan and I are separated. In fact, we have been for a quite a while now; the divorce will be final shortly.
Much prayer, much therapy, and much counsel have led me to this point. I have every human emotion every day: sadness, anger, fear – so much fear. Relief, gratitude, hope. Even joy and peace.
All of them are fleeting, scuttling in and out of the chambers of my heart like a bunch of wily hamsters that I can’t control.
My people have carried me in ways that you would not believe. I am excited to share that part with you – the part about how we carry each other.
I will continue to write about the world, and now that this is a part of my world, it's probably going to make a cameo in a post or two. It was time for you to know.
Please hold this news gently.
And before you comment, please remember that this is the Internet: the place where words live forever.
I will never stop being grateful for this space and this community of readers. I really love you.