Search Terms VII

This month, people arrived at my blog by searching for the following terms:

"offended bear" (Offended bears are the worst kind of bear.  Dwight Schrute would agree.) 

"priming girls" (Priming them for what?  Creep.)

"melted crayon jesus" (I posted about my melted crayon art here, but Oh. My. Gosh.  If you, mystery person, manage to make a melted crayon Jesus...I'll pay you $10 for it.)

"psychotic break 2011"  (This search term is the least surprising to me.  Psychotic breaks are par for the course around here.)

"guitar sombrero"  (I want one for parties.  Can you picture it?  Busting through the door like the Kool-aid man? FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS!!!  *jazz hands*)

"snakes in a jar"  (A less interesting version of the film Snakes on a Plane.  You didn't know that was possible, did you?)

"advice from a lunatic"  (If it were me, I'd be searching for "advice from a genius" instead.  Wait, how come nobody ever gets here by searching for a genius?)

"trench coat guy from beside"  (It seems like the end of this sentence would be important.  ...Beside the window of Macys on 5th?  Classy.  ...Beside the rack of high power assault rifles?  Get out of town fast. )

neosporin on crater  (It makes perfect sense how this person arrived at my blog (this post).  But what were they trying to find? I shudder to think.) 

pure+nudisten  (This is either a skin care cream or something super-dirty.  I can't bring myself to google it because I'm afraid for my little virginal eyes.)

clip chihuahua head on purse (Dude, you better run. I'm calling PETA right now.)

"three laffy taffys"  (You know, you don't need the internet to find these.  They have them at the grocery store.)

"child uvula"  (The same as an adult uvula, only smaller.  I'm very familiar, as it is easily seen when a child screams in time-out for an extended period of time.)

"old+ladies+doing+zumba" (Old ladies know how to get down, man.  Also, I once went to a 5:00am boot camp where I was lapped on the track by a woman more than twice my age.  So don't hate.)

"jeans family modeling"  (See also, awkward family photos.)

Awesome, just awesome.

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