Search Terms V

This month, people arrived at my blog by searching for the following terms (You guys, these ones are good):

"stepped on blowfish" (This actually happened.)

"flesh eating giantess beginning with the letter A" (I'm assuming this is the same person who was searching for flesh eating giantesses last time.  If not, I should try to hook the two of them up - they have quite the shared interest.)

"kill all the things" (I often get visitors looking for "clean all the things" because of this awesome comic.  Kill all the things though, that's a new one. Might I suggest anger management.)

"mom corndog" (A mother corndog, or a mom who is a corndog?  Be more specific, please.)

"kip+napoleon+dynamite+peace+out" (It's been 7 years, let it go.)

"cross stitch borzoi"  (I once expressed my interest in borzois, and my concern that in another life I might become a borzoi loving jogger.  Well this person has my alter-ego beat.  They love borzois so much they CROSS STITCH THEM INTO THINGS. Imagine their living room - borzois on the pillows, borzois on the blankets, borzois on the walls, borzois sleeping on the couch. This is my favorite mental image from this batch.)

"celebrities+living+in+bermuda" (Stalker alert.)

"sweat+pants+for+dan" (We are accepting donations, since I've hijacked all of his.  They were cheaper than maternity pants.)

"pitcher-of-cher"  (A pitcher full of Cher.  A pitcher shaped like Cher.  Or MAYBE a picture of Cher for someone who has no prayer of competing in the National Spelling Bee, or graduating from the fifth grade for that matter.  C'mon America.)

"how many inches is knee length hair"  (Too many.)

"drying panties" (Yes, do this.  They are much more comfortable than wet panties.)

"pulley system for kids" (For all your child-hoisting needs.)

"mr. mint nails" (Better nails than hair.)

"sullen 2 year old" (Madeline is three now.  You obviously missed her birthday, but gracious as we are, we will still accept your gift for her via FedEx.)

"can children with optic nerve hypoplasia live normal lives?"  (I think my heart stopped beating for a minute when I read this one.  It took my breath away.  I imagined brand new parents sitting in front of the computer, sad and numb because they just found out that their little baby doesn't see like they thought he would, and there's nothing to be done.  Yes.  Yes they can.  They DO lead beautiful, valuable, amazing, odd-defying, full, healthy lives.  Right now is the hardest; it will get better.)

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