For those of you who don't know, I'm in the middle of my very first Braille course through the Hadley School. Braille is insane and genius and complicated and impressive. I oscillate back and forth between feeling very, very accomplished that I'm learning such a rare and interesting thing, to feeling a lot like a gorilla with five thumbs trying to thread a needle, as I furrow my eyebrows and sweat blood trying to read children's nursery rhymes on giant pieces of white cardstock.
L -E - (leeee) A - (pant, pant, break for water) P - I (what the heck kind of freaky word starts with leapi??) - N - G. (Oh.)
Anyway, so I've been doing my homework assignments during Madeline's nap-time and mailing them to my professor. She emails me my grade plus any corrections, and I get my original back in the mail a few days later. Usually her emails say, "You did a great job! Keep up the good work!"
THIS week, however, she wrote,
"I wanted to add something that you left out of your response to number 6. Not only can you use a braille eraser, you can also fill in a full cell to indicate a mistake."
I calmly retorted (alone in my living room), "WHAT!? I WROTE THAT; I KNOW I DID!! I DIDN'T "OMIT" (yes, I used air-quotes) ANYTHING! YOU CAN'T JUST SKIM MY PAPER AND TAKE OFF POINTS FOR SOMETHING YOU MISSED!" *Melodramatic, dragon-like, exasperated sigh*
This might have been an appropriate response if I were getting an actual grade or an actual degree or something. But this particular class uses a pass/fail system. And on these assignments I get kindergarten grades. You know: C for commendable, S for satisfactory, U for unsatisfactory. And let's be real - I "missed" one question, so I'm pretty sure I'm still in the "pass" category. Or the "C" category or whatever.
(There is clearly a direct correlation between my level of frustration and the number of air quotes I throw around.)
I decided to put "the situation" out of my mind until I could hold my paper in my hands and see for myself if I had really submitted an incomplete answer. A few days later I received my paper - and lo and behold!
On one shoulder I have this super-human nerd (pictured at top of page) lobbying for justice everywhere. For excellence in all things! She is zealous! She is nerdy! Everyone hates her! She is saying to me, in an obnoxious nasal tone, "Correct her! Show her that you are smart and thorough!" I do not know where this person came from - because you can ask any teacher of mine dating back to the third grade and they will tell you that homework perfection was nowhere NEAR the top of my priority list.
And on the other shoulder I have a little tiny version of my sane-self saying, "Seriously?" and humming "Let It Be."
This is a nerd dilemma. My reputation vs. My reputation. Do I correct my teacher for the sake of my unblemished column in the gradebook? Or do I let it go for fear of being a little too Rachel Berry?
I have tried prayer, exercise, and chocolate. Ancient-eastern breathing techniques, theraputic letter-writing, and singing "It Is Well With My Soul" loudly in the shower. None of this is working.
There is a wrong that must be righted! My universe is off-kilter!
(Are you as amazed as I am that Dan chose to marry me?)
"When I find myself in times of trouble Mother Mary comes to me Speaking words of wisdom, let it be. And in my hour of darkness She is standing right in front of me Speaking words of wisdom, let it be. Let it be, let it be. Whisper words of wisdom, let it be..."