Le Haircut

Because of the aforementioned incident, I was nauseus all morning.  It was like this sense of impending doom, only tinged with my characteristic moronic optimism.  "What, I've hated EVERY SINGLE short hair cut I've ever had?  There's a first time for everything!" My stylist's name was Sam - and he looked to be about 19 years old.  He also has a girlfriend.  So let me get this straight:

1. He was available in 2 days.

2. He probably isn't old enough to vote.

3. He's not gay.

Doesn't exactly sound like the kind of guy I'd trust to cut my hair.  But whatever - too late now.  (Fresh wave of nausea.) 

Are you ready for some serious before and afters?

 

It was so, so long and thick.  It had great potential to be luxurious.  But 98% of the time I wore it like this:

Glamorous, huh?  Can you spot the granuloma scar? No?  Not in a picture that small? Good - that was the point.

 

Hey look - I have NO waist. The space where it WAS has been hijacked by a baby. It was all a little pushy if you ask me; he took over like he owns the place.

Sometimes I would straighten it (By sometimes I mean like once a month).  Even then, it was so heavy and shapeless that it flattened out on top and hung lifelessly, like so:

 And so, I allowed a minor with a pair of shears to put it in a ponytail and cut the whole thing off!

And voila!

Oh. My. Gosh.

It is really, really short.

But I think I like it!
That's disgusting.  I only brought it home because I'm donating it to Locks of Love; I'm not a creepy hoarder or anything.  (My friend, Megan, did this a while back too.  Read her post if you'd like to see some more before and afters - I for one can't get enough.)
So how many inches actually got the axe?

The longest layer is more than 14 inches.

I lost three pounds today, in hair.  As Sam was thinning my hair, he kept shaking his head and chuckling in amazement.  He then likened me to Rapunzel from Tangled...

...Oh my gosh, maybe he's younger than 19. 

Aaannd, let's do a baby shot while we're already here in front of the mirror:  30 weeks! 

I highly recommend Sam; he did a great job.  In fact, I scheduled a trim and highlights in 2 months because he was such a smooth talker.