Lately, I win the deadbeat blogger award. You like how instead of apologizing, I give myself an award? Personal policy of mine: don't guilt trip self. Before I fill you in on what's been going on around here I should tell you - I have an impulse control problem. A serious one.
This is most recently evidenced by my interaction with the Halloween candy. If one Kit-Kat is good, seven Kit-Kats are better. You will notice this trend in all of the goings on, which I'm about to share. I've done four things this month - but I've done them with the enthusiasm and persistence of a charismatic, obsessive compulsive, broken record. Over, and over, and over, and over.
1. I've read. Feeding a baby is a lot like time-out for grown ups. Every two hours I'm forced to sit in a corner (of the couch) for 30 minutes and think about all the things I could/should/can't do. I sit down to feed Sam and look around at the chaos, make mental lists, daydream, and stress. So instead of making myself crazy counting carpet stains every two hours, I started reading. Since he arrived I've knocked out:
Water for Elephants, Sara Gruen Unbroken, Laura Hillenbrand The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins Catching Fire, Suzanne Collins Seabiscuit, Laura Hillenbrand The Blue Bistro, Elin Hilderbrand The Glass Castle, Jeanette Walls Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year, Anne Lamott
I have Eat, Pray, Love and Parenting the Strong-Willed Child in queue.
2. I've Pinned. It's true, Pinterest found me. It all started with our drapes really. We had these abhorrent gold drapes - I hated them. I thought about how much I hated them every single time I went into the living room. But I wasn't about to drop money on new window treatments as long we had something serviceable. (I'm stingy, remember?) Well, just after Sam was born, the pins that held the drapes to the rod shredded the tops of those 20-pound buzz-kills, and eventually the sheer weight of them pulled the rod right out of the wall. Their time had come - good riddance.
My husband STILL didn't want to replace them, but I recruited both of our mothers to lobby for me, because I have no shame. I can live with ugly by thinking about the nobler places our money could go. But ugly, and broken was enough to put me in a tizzy. When we replaced them with lovely, bright white, faux-wood Venetian blinds something in me snapped. "I am tired of hating my living room."
Pinterest deluded me. I lost any sense that the postpartum hormones hadn't already stolen. The number of pins on my boards isn't astronomical, but my percentage of completions is. If one project is good, seven projects are better! What? I have a newborn? And a toddler? And no money? And no time? And I haven't done laundry in two weeks? Dan, you will have to go wash your own socks - the chalkboard paint is speaking to me.
Here is a tour of my dining room. It may or may not (definitely still does) look like this.
It did not stop there. It spread to...
The four walls of my house cannot contain my lack of impulse control.
3. I've parented. You can read my "Dear Madeline" post here. It has been a rough few weeks, so I took a break from every single non-essential thing in life and parented. I didn't cook much or do dishes. I didn't vacuum. I didn't do braille homework or blog or even check my email. I parented. And Madeline has gotten happy faces at school for two days in a row. This is hard work.
4. I took pictures with my phone. Since (3 years later) I learned how to get them on the computer! It's so handy! This technology thing might really catch on. Maybe I should tweet more often.
And those are the things that marked October 2011.
I did none of them in moderation.
I'm tired of all of it.
Except for reading...and parenting...and taking pictures of my kids with my phone...and crafting...