Grocery Snob vs. VBS. VBS wins.

We have A LOT going on this week. Tonight is the first night of Vacation Bible School, which is going on all week.  I'm in charge of crafts (read: chaos with paint and permanent markers) - for 80 kids.  EIGHTY.  8 - 0.  (What's the over/under for how many times I'll scream, "Not on the floor, not on the walls, NOT ON YOUR NEIGHBOR!"?)

My foyer looks like this:

And my dining room looks like this:

And of course this little cutie running around.

The day after VBS ends, we will drop Madeline off with her grandparents and take a van full of middle schoolers to camp in Florida!

Oh. My. Word.  My blood pressure is going up just thinking about it.

SO (and this is my point), I did something today that I have never done before in my life.  I made a grocery run with 3 items on my list:

  • Half and half for coffee
  • Fresh fruit
  • SIX frozen meals

An entire week of pre-cooked meals.  No muss no fuss.  I do not want to wash, chop, or sautée ANYTHING.

If you don't find this is shocking, it's because you don't know me very well.  I'm a big fat snob about my groceries.  I get it from my mother (sorry, Mom).  Here are some of my admittedly snobbish grocery shopping guidelines:

  • I don't eat any vegetables that come from a can. (The only exception might be sweet corn, or diced tomatoes to go in a recipe.)  I buy fresh heads of red leaf lettuce, zucchinis, and fresh green beans (I pick through them bean by bean to avoid the beans with blemishes).  Cilantro for my burritos and stalks of celery to cut up for snacks.
  • I hate iceberg lettuce – it's simply not green enough – clearly deficient in vitamins.
  • White sandwich bread is similarly stigmatized.  I buy whole grain, much to the chagrin of my husband.
  • I buy skim milk, adding to my husband’s vexation.  And only half and half will do for my coffee.
  • Ranch dressing smells gross and seems to be perfect for iceberg lettuce salads.  I prefer the thin, vinnagrette-y dressings.
  • I hate Little Debbie's and most other "snacks" that come in a box.  (Except for the Swiss Cake Rolls.... mmmmm.)
  • I ONLY buy Kraft Brand Macaroni and Cheese.
  • And cheese is too delicate a food to chance it with some off-brand product.
  • I buy thick, center cut pork chops. And lean ground beef (or ground chuck for yummy burgers).
  • Hagan Daas Coffee ice cream is my favorite.  It physically pains me to think of prying the thin plastic lid off of a frosty, freezer-burned five gallon bucket of Vanilla Bean.

As a result of my grocery snobbery, I do a lot of praying and confessing in line at the grocery store.  God convicts me, and I am filled with kind thoughts for these people in front of me who like Hot Pockets and Wonderbread.  Maybe it's not that they don't care about their health, maybe they're just having a really busy week!  I shamefully place all my snobby groceries on the belt and watch them scroll by like the little edible Rockefeller’s or Kennedy’s of the food world.  Come to think of it I could kind of go for a Hot Pocket.

So this afternoon was a wholly new experience for me!  I felt...giddy!  And rebellious! And a little naughty (maybe I need to get out more...) as I placed SIX various frozen meals on the conveyor belt:  frozen pizzas, microwavable steamed veggies, and a Stouffer's Lasagna.

I'm sure we'll survive.  I'm sure it will be blissfully convenient.  And I'm sure that two weeks from now I'll go right back to my snobby grocery ways.  But this week?  Cheers to the BRILLIANCE of the microwave oven!

Tonight: Leather bracelets, wooden beads EVERYWHERE, and sharpie stains on my shirt during craft time, and PF Chang's Orange Chicken meal for supper.  :)