This public service announcement sponsored by The Animaniacs.
Good idea: [Finally] Getting out of your sweatpants 5 days postpartum. I felt liberated.
Bad idea: Trying on a pair of pre-pregnancy jeans 5 days postpartum. I wept uncontrollably.
Good idea: Talking to your baby.
Bad idea: Baby talk.
Good idea: Washing your kid.
Bad idea: Washing your kid.
Good idea: Tripling your water intake.
Bad idea: Being more than 10 yards away from a restroom at any time.
Good idea: Going to the pediatrician.
Bad idea: Going to the pediatrician (where you will wait for more than an hour) without any of the following: carseat, sun shield, diaper bag, change of clothes, diapers, wipes, blanket, pacifier, nursing cover, nursing pads, bottle, wallet, cell phone, insurance card, birth records, your own mental health. Also, don't forget to dress yourself.
Good idea: Telling a new mother how great she looks.
Bad idea: Asking a new mother "when she's due."
Good idea: Explaining breastfeeding to your 3-year-old.
Bad idea: Your 3-year-old explaining breastfeeding to strangers in the grocery store.
Please plan accordingly.